I’m Like a Vault Baby, Locked Down.

One of the best lines from the movie Hitch was when Will Smith was drunk off the bottle of Benadryl and said, “I’m like a vault baby, locked down. I can’t remember what Eva Mendes asked him before hand, but that line instantly made me laugh. (If you haven’t noticed, I’ve made quite a lot of references to this movie before in my past posts. Why? Because Hitch is easily in my top 10 favorite movies of all time)

So how are you with secrets? Are you good at keeping them?

I’m quite a trustworthy person (at least I like to think so). A good handful of people come to me and tell me things that they usually won’t tell other people. I will admit, I’m quite nosey; not to mention, when I was younger, some might even say that I had a big mouth. But I realized as the years passed that being able to keep secrets meant that you gain the trust of others, and that to me is important.

There’s maybe only a handful of people who I trust that I tell my secrets to. What kind you ask? Well, it really depends on how secret I want to keep them. Obviously if I’m out drinking with the boys, I’ll shoot the shit around (e.g. who I’m interested in). If it’s more personal stuff such as family issues or simply embarrassing stuff, there’s only 2 people I trust that I would tell them 2 (I’m sure they know who they are). But most of the time, it’s not really about them keeping the secret, it’s the fact that I know they would provide me with constructive advice.

Since I’m deconstructing Hitch quotes, decided to do some others as well as I have no ideas on what else to blog about:

“Basic principles: no woman wakes up saying, “God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!” Now, she might say, “This is a really bad time for me,” or something like, “I just need some space,” or my personal favorite, “I’m really into my career right now.” You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? Because she’s lying to you, that’s why. You understand me? Lying! It’s not a bad time for her. She doesn’t need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she’s really saying is, “Uh, get away from me now,” or possibly, “Try harder, stupid.” But which one is it? Sixty percent of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; thirty percent is your tone. So that means that ninety percent of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth. Of course she’s going to lie to you! She’s a nice person. She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. What else she going to say? She doesn’t even know you… yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn’t know what she wants until she sees it, and that’s where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic principles: no matter what, no matter when, no matter who… any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.”

First off, I really need to find where I can get this broom, especially if it’s actually true that any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet (which is questionable at times).

In a way, it’s quite true. From past experiences (which is actually quite sad), I’ve encountered some pretty lame excuses. For example, a girl friend of mines that I wasn’t even trying to pick up (harmless flirting), gave me the, “You’re like Ice Wine, sweet, but not for me”. If you ask me what I’d prefer, the harsh truth or a sugar-coated one, I rather have the harsh truth. There’s really no need to sugar-coat anything because either way, as most guys would agree, being shot down nicely or harshly has the same outcome. It’s not even about hurting our feelings because I’m sure most guys would agree that we would just move on (unless you have the severely EMO ones). After all, a no is a no, there’s really no point in forcing something that probably won’t even last.

So when do guys know to, “try harder, stupid”. Persistance is questionable; especially if you’re constantly getting shot down. Now I will admit, that the chase is probably the best part in any relationship but if clearly she’s not interested, one should know to stop. Why? because although there might be some interest, if you’re too persistent, than you might end up with the “Uh, get away from me now” response.

“I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?”

I wonder if this line actually works. For example, you’re out on a date and you say/do something incredibly stupid (it happens). The girl starts getting annoyed or even pissed off (depends on what you say or do for that matter). But you’re smart (ok maybe not that smart if you got her pissed off to begin with) and realize that you’ve done something wrong. It’s too typical to just apologize; almost most guys do this. But what if, you blame it on your gender, “that you’re a guy and we never get anything the first time?” I wonder how that would play out.

“Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.”

If you ask me, Life is actually about the amount of breaths you take, because if you don’t take any, there would be no life (my attempt at being smart). So have you had any moments that took you’re breath away? (besides physically having the wind knocked out of you). For me, I don’t remember any moments in my life that took my breath away; maybe it’s because there hasn’t been anyone that have had such an impact on me (well, maybe).

“You know what it’s like getting up every morning feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man? But, at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it’s never going to be with you?

Suck it up. There’s really no reason why you should feel hopeless (maybe feeling like shit is the right term). If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. The later part is true; even if you can be with them, you should always wish them the best. There’s really no point of being resentful toward them just because you’re not the person they’re looking for. Besides, most of the time you just want to be around them because every thing that they do puts a smile on your face (unless it’s completely disgusting. But then again, some people have fetishes for disgusting things). You really don’t want to shut all doors.

“When your wondering what to say, or how you look… just remember… she is already out with you. That means, she said yes, when she could’ve said no. That means she made a plan… when she could’ve just blown you off. So that means it is no longer you job to make her like you… It’s is your job NOT TO MESS IT UP.

This actually makes a lot of sense. The hardest part for most guys is just to get the girl to actually say yes when you ask them to say, have dinner. If she said yes, you’ve already won half the battle (maybe from your outstanding looks or incredible charm, wait, who are you fooling?). Your main task is just not to mess it up when you’re actually on the date. For example, talking about yourself too much, saying something offensive, or just rushing it. But what if you don’t get a yes or no answer? What if you get a “maybe”? Does that mean, “Uh, get away from me now” or “Try harder, stupid”.


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